


Life Is Not A Love Song, We Can Try

by Ferus37



Series: I Like That You're Broken [8]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Bedroom Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:15:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24689008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ferus37/pseuds/Ferus37
Summary: Billy surprises Steve with something Steve has wanted for a long time. A visit to his house.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Series: I Like That You're Broken [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1587457
Comments: 8
Kudos: 77





	Life Is Not A Love Song, We Can Try

Life with a boyfriend was weird, and cool, and not particularly different from normal. Well, what had become the normal after he and Billy started hooking up. The different part was really just that they were spending time together at school, in public, and that wasn't directly connected to the boyfriend thing. Billy had agreed to that before the boyfriend conversation. Still, even though they were outwardly just sort of hanging out without talking much, it was nice to just sit there and know that the guy he was hanging out with was his boyfriend, for real. They'd gotten quite a few stares, but few people had asked any questions. Billy's response to Tommy's questions had been “because he's more fun than you”, which had pissed Tommy off enough that he'd just left. So far he'd stayed gone. Steve was perfectly okay with that. 

Worse was the conversation he'd had to have with Nancy. He'd been in the awkward position of trying to explain why he suddenly wanted to hang out with Billy, without actually telling her why he suddenly wanted to hang out with Billy. He'd thought out a good excuse beforehand, but he could tell she didn't buy it. They'd probably end up having another conversation about it, where she pressured him more. She and her damned investigative reporter mind. He'd asked Billy for help with coming up with something, but he'd been no help at all. “Tell her I'm a good fuck” and “say you like sucking my dick too much” were not viable options. Steve had tried “he's changed” on her, but Billy hadn't actually changed that much. He was still a dick, especially at school, and a fucking bully when he got a chance to be. He'd told Billy he didn't want to change him, but when he was being an absolute shit he couldn't not say anything. Steve hated those tendencies in Billy, partly because they reminded him of how he himself had been before dating Nancy, and meeting an actual monster. 

Steve had told Billy he'd never felt like this about anyone before, but that wasn't 100% true. He'd felt something very similar with Nancy. Maybe not completely the same, but Billy was just so much more fucking intense. Still, it wasn't completely different. He hadn't been fake in love with Nancy. He wasn't in love with her anymore, even before this thing with Billy started. He'd been able to let that go relatively quickly after she dumped him, and maybe that said something about how deeply he had been in love, but it had definitely not been just confusion or whatever. Then Billy had come over to him at that party, and other people just couldn't keep his interest in that way anymore. Well, admittedly, Billy had had that effect on him well before the party. That was why he'd gone with him to that bedroom in the first place. Fucking Billy, getting under his skin from day one. Still, he couldn't really complain, since he had a boyfriend now. He kept coming back to that word. Boyfriend. You'd think he was fourteen or something. Not that he was actually all that much older, but those few years were really important ones in terms of maturity. 

It was the last break of the day, and Steve was on his way to meet up with Billy again, when he was intercepted by Nancy by his locker. Fuck. He smiled at her, as if she wasn't currently one of the people he least wanted to see. He loved Nancy, in a very platonic kind of way, but talking to her when she had this look on her face was pure trouble.   
“Steve, we need to talk.”  
“Okay?” he asked innocently. “What about?”  
“You and Billy.”  
“There's nothing to talk about,” he said, hoping he put enough dismissiveness in his voice.   
“You keep hanging out with him, and you haven't explained why.” She put a hand on Steve's arm to keep him there. “He's the biggest asshole in school, Steve. In Hawkins.”  
“I think his dad is a bigger asshole than he is,” Steve corrected, “but don't tell him I said that.”   
“ _Why_ are you hanging out with him?”  
“I told you, because I want to give him a chance, to see if he can get better. You know, kind of like you did with me.”  
“I'm not buying it,” she said, and defiantly crossed her arms. “There's something else there.”   
“Why do you think that?”   
“Because it doesn't add up how you ended up deciding to 'give him a chance',” she said in a mocking tone. “Did he just walk up to you and ask to be friends?”   
“No, it just kind of happened,” Steve shrugged. “Being late in the locker room a couple of times and just talking shit. It's not that big a deal.”  
“And you're just going to ignore that he beat you up?”  
“We beat each other up” Steve said, annoyed, but not surprised, that she brought it up. “And you know what? I _am_ going to just ignore it.”  
He was trying to sound convincing, even as he was lying about just about all of it. The only times they'd been late in the locker room together were times they fooled around, and that was just twice, and both after they'd already hooked up. 

Steve started walking to where he'd agreed to meet Billy, hoping Nancy would drop off on the way, and that she was done talking. He and Billy had been careful to not overdo it, so they hadn't met up today until now. Billy had left a short note that said he had a surprise for Steve, but it didn't say what it was. Made sense it wouldn't, or it wouldn't be a surprise. Steve walked quickly, because talking to Nancy had already delayed him, and he wanted as much time with Billy as he could. He didn't think they could meet up tonight. Billy was babysitting Max again, and doing anything while she was in the house was too risky. Besides, Billy didn't want Steve to come to his house. They'd been in Steve's room a few times, and he thought maybe the difference in how they lived had made Billy self-conscious about his house and room. Steve didn't care, one of his favorite places to be was the Byers' house, but Billy didn't see it the same way. The guy's pride was an ongoing issue. 

When he got in sight of Billy, Steve turned to Nancy, who was still walking with him.   
“Look, Nancy. Can we talk later?”  
“Why?”  
“So I can hang out with Billy now before the break is over.”  
“Why can't I hang out too?” she asked a little too loudly, and crossed her arms like before.   
“Because you don't like Billy,” Steve said reasonably, “and I don't want to deal with that right now.”  
“How am I supposed to get to like him if you don't want us to hang out?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.   
“Can we not do this when there's like 3 minutes left of the last break for today?” Steve more or less pleaded. “I'll talk to you later, okay?”   
She frowned at him for too long, but then nodded and walked off without a word. He'd deal with whatever displeasure she had later. 

Billy gave him a raised eyebrow as he approached, as if in mockery of Nancy, even though he couldn't have seen her do it. Steve just shrugged in reply. Billy and Nancy never spent time together if they could help it, but even he knew about her tenacity, and he knew beforehand she might end up being like a dog with a bone when it came to them and why they were suddenly hanging out. Billy didn't much care, because he wasn't the one who had to deal with her, and Steve couldn't blame him. Steve wasn't exactly volunteering to deal with Tommy and Carol if they had any issues with it. Billy handed him a cigarette, and didn't talk until Steve had had two drags of it. Steve was smoking more these days, but he was okay with it. There were worse things to do than smoke cigarettes, and he occasionally engaged in those things too.   
“So,” Billy started, then waited long enough that Steve was about to ask what was up, before he continued. “I'm not babysitting Max tonight.”  
“Really?” Steve perked up.   
“The adults are still going on a _date_ ,” Billy said, with scorn laced into the final word, “but Max is staying with a friend. I have no idea which friend, and I don't care. The point is she won't be there.”   
“Does that mean I can come over?” Steve asked hopefully.  
“Yes,” Billy said with a small smile that Steve found adorable.   
Steve had to fight the urge to kiss him. He was going to get to hang out with Billy tonight, when he'd thought he couldn't, and it would be in Billy's house. In his room. In his bed. Steve already started formulating ways in his head to convince Billy that letting Steve fuck him senseless in his own bed was a brilliant idea.   
“Cool,” was the only thing Steve said, but he knew Billy could tell how excited he was, and he saw some of that excitement mirrored in Billy's eyes.   
Tonight was gonna be awesome. 

\---

In the evening, Steve parked his car where Billy had instructed, and walked over, avoiding the road where possible. They were still being careful about being seen together outside school, so Steve wouldn't park where his car could be seen from the house. He also didn't go in through the front door. Climbing through windows wasn't something he was foreign to, and at least Billy's room was on the first floor. He only needed two knocks on the window before Billy opened it and gave him a hand getting inside. Steve was a little turned on by the upper body strength Billy displayed in the process. Frankly, just about everything Billy did these days turned him on. It was like a chronic condition. Billy smoking a cigarette was like porn at this point. As soon as Steve was on his feet in the room, Billy yanked him close and kissed him roughly. Steve didn't even get time to look around before Billy's demanding lips were on his. He was cool with this. He could look around later. After. 

Billy dragged Steve toward the bed while they made out. When they reached it, Steve was unceremoniously pushed onto his back on it. Instead of protesting or making an issue of it, Steve scrambled up until he was in the middle of it, then waited for Billy to join him. He did, by slowly crawling over Steve's body, until they were face to face again.   
“Hey, hot stuff,” Steve murmured.   
“Hey, pretty boy,” Billy murmured back, then kissed him again.   
They made out for so long, and so intensely, that they were both mostly naked by the time they broke apart again. Steve had Billy's cock in hand, and was slowly pulling on it. He wanted Billy at the point where he thought Steve fucking him was a stellar idea. It seemed to be working, because Billy was groaning already, and breathing heavily. However, Steve wasn't in a much better state, because Billy had a hold of his cock in return.   
“Billy,” Steve panted. “I want to fuck you.”  
“I want to fuck you too.”  
Steve chuckled, not in the least surprised, and figured he'd need to get graphic. He kind of liked being graphic. It was something he'd never even considered with Nancy.  
“Billy, I want you on all fours here on your bed, while I plow into you. Hard, fast, and rough. I want to fuck you until you bury your face in your own pillow and scream.”   
It was Billy's turn to chuckle, but it was an aroused one.   
“Making a lot of promises there, Harrington.”  
“You want to find out if I can keep them?”   
“Mmm, yes,” Billy said thoughtfully, then licked his bottom lip. “Fuck me, pretty boy. Make me scream.”  
Steve had to take a deep breath to keep from coming just from hearing that. Fuck. He pulled Billy in for another long kiss. 

By the time their lips slipped apart again, they were both naked; their clothes strewn all around them on the bed and floor. It was going to be a pain in the ass to find everything later, but that wasn't something Steve had any interest in dwelling on. Instead he focused his attention on Billy's skin. He pushed Billy onto his back, and kissed, licked, and bit his way down his body. Billy was squirming, and making undignified noises. Steve loved being able to do this to him. To make him forget his pride. When he reached Billy's cock, he licked it all over. He knew Billy had a thing for it, and Steve kind of liked doing it. He laid the flat of his tongue against it, and licked in long, slow strokes. There was something oddly dirty about it, that Steve enjoyed. Then he remembered something that tended to get in the way of their sex, because they always seemed to forget to get it before getting going. Today was absolutely no different. You'd think they'd have learned by now.   
“Billy?”  
“Mm? Don't stop.”  
“I'm gonna need lube.”  
“Fuck. Every fucking time,” Billy said with exasperation, and Steve knew he was annoyed at them forgetting, and not the fact they needed lube. Getting condoms along with the lube went without saying.   
“Yeah, unless you want me to go in dry,” Steve said dryly.   
“Fuck no. Gimme a sec.” 

Steve sat up and waited while Billy got the stuff out of a box in the bedside drawer, behind some magazines of swimsuit models. Steve knew Billy was all the way gay, so he assumed the magazines were cover, in case a parental unit snooped. From what he'd heard about the guy, Steve was pretty sure Billy's dad wasn't above going through his son's things, looking for something to get angry about. Magazines with half naked chicks was probably something he'd be proud to find. Thankfully, before Steve could follow that annoying train of thought, Billy handed him the items and went back to his previous position. He made clear with a hand gesture that he expected Steve to go back to what he'd been doing. Steve didn't have to be told twice. He got comfortable between Billy's legs, and started licking every part of Billy's dick he could reach again. When it was properly damp he blew on it, and got some more squirming from Billy. Steve loved this. Just being able to enjoy Billy's body, and the reactions it got him. No rush, no cramped car, no need to be quiet. It was just the two of them, and Billy's bed. 

They were in no real hurry to get things done, other than the fact the adults were only on a date, and not a sleepover, but that didn't mean Steve was willing to waste time forever. He was horny as fuck, more than insanely turned on, and he really really wanted to fuck Billy. Like, yesterday. Steve slicked up his fingers, positioned them by Billy's hole, and just as he sucked the entire top third of Billy's cock into his mouth, he pushed two of them inside. Billy reacted with a shaky gasp and a half groan of pleasure. Probably Steve's favorite part of sex, apart from either having his dick in Billy or having Billy's dick in him, were the sounds Billy made when he was feeling good. Pants, little whimpers he tried to not make, groans and low moans that became loud ones the closer he got to coming. Billy was far from a silent partner in bed, in any meaning of the phrase, and it turned Steve on to no end. If he wanted to do more than a minute of fucking he'd have to get to it soon.   
“Billy, turn over.”  
“You're really serious about the hands and knees thing, huh?” Billy said with aroused amusement.  
“Abso-fucking-lutely,” Steve said, and put on the condom while Billy did as he was told. 

Billy, naked on all fours on his own bed, with his asshole wet with lube, ready to be plowed into, was probably the single most arousing thing Steve had ever experienced. He positioned himself with the tip of his cock against Billy's hole, and just held there a moment, taking it in. Taking in the sight of Billy's strong muscled back and broad shoulders, the curly hair covering his neck, the damp skin that Steve knew Billy used a tanning bed to keep tan all year, the slim hips, and the gorgeous buttocks. Billy was fucking perfection. His body was, at least. His personality left something to be desired. Still, he was fun to be with, hot as fuck, and right now Steve wanted him with every fiber of his being.   
“You are so fucking gorgeous,” Steve said, and pushed in.   
Billy moaned low in his throat, and pushed back in a way that suggested it was involuntary. For someone who put so much effort into being the one to do the fucking, he sure loved having a dick in him. Or maybe it was just Steve's dick in him. Steve liked to think that, even though it probably wasn't true. 

The inside of Billy was hot and tight, and held Steve's dick in just the right way. Every time he fucked Billy it felt to Steve like he was where he belonged, and, truth be told, he felt the same when he was the one with the dick in him. Billy's dick. If only he could do both at the same time, without adding someone other than Billy into the mix. Steve had no interest in anyone other than Billy. Not for sex or anything else. Not in that way. It was just Billy, and that awesome ass he was all the way in right now. He started moving, in and out, at a steady pace, with every intention of ramping it up in a moment. Billy moved to meet every thrust. He was really fucking good at it, so Steve started losing it a lot quicker than he had planned. He stopped _thinking_ about plowing into Billy, and started actually _doing_ it. He took tight hold of Billy's hips and started ramming into him as hard and fast as he could. Billy gasped for air as he was pounded into mercilessly. He wasn't screaming, and he probably wouldn't, but Steve wasn't going to let it be for lack of trying. Steve was getting ready to come too, and even though he was panting too, he was barely able to get enough air into his lungs. He vaguely heard a phone ringing somewhere, but there was no way either was going to go get it. Billy was moaning now, and repeating the word “fuck” over and over. It was a sign he was on the brink. Steve let go of Billy's hip and reached to take hold of his dick instead. He only pumped it five times before Billy came, _nearly_ screaming. Close enough to screaming that the sound of it, combined with the pulsing of his insides, made Steve's orgasm explode through him, before he was even aware it was imminent. His body locked up, and he came hard, while being fully seated inside Billy. 

When his body relaxed again, Billy collapsed under him, and Steve just flopped down on top of him. They managed to do this without Steve pulling out of Billy. He tugged on Billy until they were both on their sides, still without pulling out, with Steve's arms wrapped awkwardly around the other man. One of his arms would start going numb soon, but he didn't even remotely want to move from this position. He felt Billy's heartbeat against his chest. As their breathing slowed, they breathed almost in unison. Steve felt connected to Billy, in more ways than just the cock that was slowly sliding out as it softened. Billy was his boyfriend. His first boyfriend, and a surprisingly good one, considering how much of an asshole he was on a regular basis. Steve lay there, listening to Billy breathe and his heart beat, smelling his cologne and his damp, overheated skin, and felt very much in love. With Billy Hargrove, of all people. It was funny, and weird, and very cool. He wondered if Billy felt in love back. He wasn't going to ask to find out. Billy would either say something when he was ready, or show it some other way. Or he wouldn't. Maybe he'd never feel the same way as Steve, but Steve wasn't going to brood on that until it became an issue. Brooding wasn't his style. That was Billy's thing. 

They lay on Billy's bed a while, just... cuddling. It was the only word Steve could think of to describe it. He wasn't going to say that word out loud in Billy's presence. He didn't want the idiot to get pissed off or something. Eventually, the slight chill from laying there with sweaty skin got to Steve.   
“Is there a shower I can use?” he asked.  
“No,” Billy said drowsily. “Shower at home.”   
“That's helpful. I'm sticky.”  
“Not as sticky as I am. You can deal. I share a bathroom with two women. I'm not letting you in there.”   
“Afraid I'll get cooties or something?” Steve poked.   
“Stop fucking nagging,” Billy said irritably and sat up.  
Steve held up his hands in a way he hoped was calming. Instead of saying anything more, he went in search of clothing. It looked to be scattered everywhere, which was impressive, considering they'd both been on the bed when it had been shed. While he was looking, he heard the phone again.  
“You going to get that?”  
“No. Fuck them,” Billy said, and got up to find his own clothes.   
“It might be important.”  
“It never is. And if it was, I still wouldn't care. Get your clothes on so we can go back to making out.”   
“We don't need clothes on to make out,” Steve said, and didn't mention that they hadn't been kissing recently enough to qualify as going back to.   
“No, but you started, so we might as well.”  
Steve shrugged, and finally located his t-shirt and jeans. 

While Billy got dressed, Steve finally had a look around his room. He had a lot of clothes, some of it in a pile by the closet. Steve didn't want to find out if the pile was clean or dirty. There were metal posters on the walls, and a couple of posters of barely dressed women. More cover. There was a mirror, and in front of it were bottles of cologne, some hair and skin care products, as well as a black ceramic hand with jewelry on it, and an ashtray. Steve hadn't expected Billy to care much about the state of his skin, but when confronted with it, it made sense. Billy's skin was flawless, and the man was more than a little concerned about his appearance. Steve was fascinated by the fact Billy had several different earrings, even though he'd seen the man wear at least three different ones in their time together. He also had a lot of necklaces and rings. He had more jewelry than Nancy, though that wasn't something Steve was going to point out. At least not until he wanted to rile Billy up for fun. Right now he was more interested in the suggested kissing than in poking fun. There was nowhere to sit other than the bed. Steve had a desk, but Billy didn't. There wasn't room for one. 

Billy had been to get them each a soda, and was sitting on the bed now, leaning against the headboard, smoking, with an ashtray on his lap, waiting for Steve to finish exploring. He didn't say anything, either to defend or complain. Maybe he just accepted that this was part of the deal. He'd spent a lot of time exploring Steve's bedroom, and had even had a roam around the whole house a couple of times, commenting on the ostentatious displays of wealth, that Steve didn't find all that ostentatious.

It didn't take too long before Steve felt he had explored enough, and went back to the bed. He smoked the rest of the cigarette Billy had lit for himself; his second one since having sex. Billy just handed it over without complaint. They sat next to each other, while Steve smoked, and they both drank their sodas. Steve more or less chugged his. Sex made him thirsty, which wasn't really weird, considering how much of a workout it was.   
“So?” Billy asked after a while.  
“What?” Steve asked in return, because he had no idea what it was in relation to.   
“The room.”  
“It's very teenage boy.”  
“It's better than preppy boy,” Billy defended. “Your room is so damned proper.”   
“Just because I don't have a pile the size of Miami in my room?” Steve asked, and pointed to the clothes next to the closet.   
“They're clean, asshole.”  
“It's still a mess. Also, you have way too many clothes.”  
“What? It's a crime to care about what I wear now?  
“No. I care about what you wear too,” Steve said with a smile. “Though, I do prefer you without any.”  
“Yeah, likewise,” Billy said and grinned, then turned and pulled Steve into a kiss. 

Steve just gave himself over to it. He had no reason not to. Somewhere in the middle of it, they managed to deposit the ashtray and the empty soda cans on the bedside table. And somewhere slightly later in the middle of it, Steve ended up on top of Billy. Billy's hands roamed under Steve's shirt, and they were soon grinding together, both already getting hard. Steve pondered the merits of getting undressed again. He sucked on Billy's lips, and then his tongue, thoroughly enjoying the taste and feel of every bit of Billy's mouth he could reach. Billy hummed low in his throat, and stuck his tongue out so Steve could reach it better with his lips. It was wet, and messy, and amazing. He felt like he could do this forever, and it seemed Billy agreed. It was getting late, but neither made a move to stop what they were doing. Billy was too much like a drug. Steve just wanted more and more. 

He was in the process of moving his hand down to slide it into Billy's pants, when the door slammed open.   
“Damn it, Billy! I've been call-” Max shouted and then broke off mid-word. She stood staring at them with such a look of shock it would have been comical, if the situation hadn't just turned disastrous.   
Billy sat up so fast it was purely by some miracle that Steve didn't end up on the floor.   
“I'm going to fucking kill you!” Billy roared.   
Max had the good sense to book it. Before Billy even got off the bed, Steve heard a door slam somewhere else in the house. Steve was glad he'd been on top of Billy, so she could get a head start. 

Billy dashed after Max, and Steve dashed after Billy. It turned out she'd locked herself in the bathroom. Billy banged on the door, and actually tried to break it down. Steve could see Billy wasn't rational right now, at all, so the only thing he could think to do was get in his face. He pushed Billy out of the way and got between him and the door.   
“What the fuck, Steve?”  
“Calm down, Billy.”  
“Calm down?” Billy shouted in outrage. “That little bitch is going to get us killed.”  
“And, what? You're going to kill her first?” Steve asked, almost as loudly as Billy. It was the wrong time to get on Billy's ass for calling Max a bitch.   
“Yes. This is fucking self-defense.”  
“God damn it, Billy. Listen to yourself.”  
“I don't want to be killed by my own father, because that little shit can't keep her mouth shut,” Billy shouted, and pointed angrily at the door over Steve's shoulder.   
“Then let's ask her to keep her mouth shut,” Steve said, trying hard to project calm and reason. 

This whole thing was so fucking volatile. Billy reacted to fear with anger, and right now Steve could tell he was plenty scared. He could actually seriously hurt Max if given the chance.   
“Like that's ever going to fucking happen,” Billy protested, but Steve could tell he was running out of steam. He was coming back to his senses, slowly.  
“Let me talk to her,” Steve said, and touched Billy's arm gently.   
“And say what?”  
“I'll figure that out as I go along,” Steve said with a tentative smile. “Just go back to your room, have a cigarette, or twelve, and let me handle this right now, okay?”  
“No. I'm going to make sure she doesn't talk,” Billy said with a new surge of energy. “Permanently.”  
Steve forcefully grabbed Billy's face, and kissed him hard. Billy didn't respond to it, but he also didn't push him away. Steve broke the kiss and looked at him. Billy still looked like he was scared, but he was calmer; his anger fading ever so slightly. It was completely understandable that he was scared. Neil was fucking dangerous, and had spent a lot of time making sure his son feared him.   
“I've got this, Billy. Okay? Trust me.” Steve emphasized the last two words, and stroked his fingers gently along Billy's jaw. He kissed him again, several times, without saying anything. Just gently pressing their lips together; showing support and care. After not too long, Billy started responding to it, and kissing back. They didn't make any demands of each other. They were just showing they were both there. Together. Connected. Billy pulled back and drew in a shaky breath. He closed his eyes, nodded, and walked away without a word. 

After the door to Billy's room had closed, Steve turned to the bathroom door and knocked on it, gently.  
“Max? We need to talk.”  
“No, we don't!” she shouted. “Go away!”  
“I got Billy to leave. We need to talk now,” Steve said, and knocked again. “You gotta work with me here, Max. We don't have all night.”  
“Steve?” she said so low he could barely hear her through the door, she sounded distraught and confused. “What's going on?”   
“I can explain, but not through the door.”   
“What if Billy comes back while the door is open?”  
“I can handle Billy. Besides, you can just let me in and we can lock the door again.”  
There was a long moment of hesitation, and then the door unlocked. Steve hurried in and locked the door again behind him. He could handle Billy, but it was best if it didn't come up. Max was against the wall on the other side of the room. She looked like she had been crying. Billy must have scared the shit out of her. Steve wanted to give her a hug, but now was not the time. 

Steve sat down on the floor, leaning against the door. He didn't want to spook her any more than she'd already been spooked. At the same time, there was a time issue. Steve wanted to be well gone before Neil got back.   
“You can't tell anyone, Max,” Steve said, getting straight to the point. “Especially not your mom or Neil. It's important.”   
“I don't even know what it is I'm not supposed to tell.”  
“Sure, you do. What do you think?”  
“It looked like you were kissing Billy,.” she said with a wrinkled nose.  
“I was,” Steve admitted. Trying to deny anything now was counter productive. He needed to get her to understand how important it was to not talk to anyone about this, instead of trying to cover his ass from embarrassment or judgment. Denial would just make her tell people faster.

A moment went by before she reacted.   
“Why?”   
“Because he's my boyfriend,” Steve said with a smile he wasn't sure was genuine.   
“What? Boyfriend? What the hell? So you're gay?” she gushed out.   
“I don't think so.”  
“Didn't you just say Billy's your boyfriend?” she asked with a frown, and then added “gross”.   
“Yeah, look, I like Billy,” Steve said, and chose to think the last word she said was aimed only at the fact it was her step brother. “He's an asshole, but I like him. And he likes me. It's just kind of how it is right now.”  
“He's definitely an asshole,” Max muttered. “Why?” she asked, louder, in a way that told Steve she was asking about the entire situation, and not just him and Billy.   
“I dunno. It just kind of happened. And I don't wish it hadn't happened. In fact, I'm actually glad it happened.”  
“You're weird. This whole thing is weird. Everything is weird,” she said in a defeated tone. “I don't even know what to think.”   
“The only important thing right now is that you keep it secret, Max,” Steve said. “I'm serious. Neil will kill Billy if he finds out. You know what Neil is like. Do you think I'm exaggerating when I say he'll kill Billy? Or at least beat him to within an inch of his life?”  
After some hesitation, she shook her head.   
“Do you see why you can't tell anyone?”  
She nodded. 

Steve wanted to ask her how she felt about him being gay with Billy. If she liked or trusted him less now. If she thought being gay was wrong or disgusting. He wanted to ask, but he wouldn't. She had enough to deal with right now, and he might not want to hear the answers. He knew she wouldn't keep it a secret forever. Their friend group had the motto “friends don't lie”, and that included by omission. He was guilty of the omission thing. A lot of it. He'd deal with that particular shit after it hit the fan. One thing at a time. She would tell Lucas, who would tell Mike, Dustin, and Will. It was inevitable. All Steve could hope was that she waited long enough for him to convince Billy not to beat her senseless because of it, and that she didn't tell her mom. If Susan found out, Neil found out. That was just fact. Still, the gang were good at keeping secrets from anyone not in the gang, and that included adults and parents who hadn't been a part of everything that happened. Most of them talked to Joyce or Hopper if they wanted to vent in some way. Dustin talked to Steve. Steve talked to Joyce and Nancy. He had talked to neither of them about Billy. Too risky. 

They couldn't sit around like this, so Steve got up to go back to Billy.   
“Max, please don't tell anyone,” he implored.  
“I won't,” she said.   
Steve really wanted to believe her, and he had little choice but to take her word for it. He couldn't threaten her, and wouldn't want to anyway. So he did the only reasonable thing in the situation.  
“Thanks, Max.”  
Then he opened the door and went back to Billy's room. He found Billy on the bed, smoking, as expected. He sat down next to him.   
“Well?” Billy asked.   
“She's not gonna talk,” Steve said, and took the cigarette from Billy.   
“How can you be sure?”  
“I can't, and neither can you, but you can't go around hurting her because of it.”  
“I'm not keen on dying.”  
“I'm not keen on you going to jail for murder,” Steve countered. “And Neil would kill you for that too. Also, I like Max, and if you hurt her I'll break up with you.”  
It made Steve feel oddly warm and fuzzy to see how that last addition made Billy visibly hesitate, and change course. Billy reached out and touched Steve's face.  
“Fuck you, Harrington,” he said quietly.  
“Next time,” Steve replied, and kissed him. 

When they broke apart, after a long time, Billy looked at him and said something Steve hadn't thought about at all.   
“You do know she's going to try to blackmail me with this, right?”  
“Fuck,” Steve said, but shook his head. “She won't. I'll make sure of it.”  
“How?”  
“I'll think of something,” Steve said with a hand wave. “Don't worry about it.”   
“With my life on the line, it's hard not to.”  
“Yeah, I know,” Steve sighed.   
He wished Billy was overreacting, but knew he wasn't. If any adult found out, they were fucked. It would be directly to disowning and severe beating territory. If people at school found out, they'd be ostracized at best, and beaten at every opportunity at worst. Both Steve and Billy knew how to hold their own in a fight, but they'd be easily outnumbered. Billy was right that being gay was unfair. Steve at least had a reasonable option of getting a girlfriend. Billy did not. Not without going against his nature. Well, Steve _had_ had a reasonable option of getting a girlfriend, before Billy showed up and fucked everything up. Getting a girlfriend was the last thing Steve wanted these days. What he wanted was to have Billy as his boyfriend for as long as he could have him. Hopefully that meant a very long time. 

Time was getting away from them. Steve kissed Billy long and hard again, then went to the window. He turned back to Billy, who had gotten off the bed and followed him. Billy kissed him again. They never seemed to get enough to not want to do it again immediately. Steve had a deep _need_ to kiss Billy, every chance he got. Billy opened the window and helped Steve get out; again displaying gorgeous upper body strength. Steve looked up at him.   
“Promise me you won't hurt her.”  
Billy gave him a displeased look that made Steve want to smack him.   
“Promise,” Steve pushed.   
“I promise I won't hurt her,” Billy said, but then added “tonight.”  
“Dude.”  
“That's as good as you're going to get.”  
“Then I guess it'll have to do,” Steve sighed. “If she tries to blackmail you, you tell me, and I'll deal with it.”  
Billy smiled in reply and closed the window. Steve had an irrational urge to tell him he loved him just before the window clicked shut. He didn't do it. It would be stupid. And the memory of saying it to Nancy when she failed to say it back still stung. He hurried back to his car and drove home. Once home he said a vague hello to his parents, grabbed some quick food to take to his room, had a shower, ate, and then went to bed. Sleep was a long time coming. He kept having to tamp down fear of what might happen if Max told the wrong person. 

\-----------------------------

The next morning brought Steve exactly what he'd been fearing, but expecting, in the form of a phone call from Dustin. Steve had the sense to be in his room with the door closed and locked before saying hello.   
“Steve, what the fuck?” were the first words out of Dustin's mouth.   
In the background, Steve could hear the others. They were talking loudly among themselves. Steve could only hope there was no adult nearby to overhear. He didn't even know whose house they were in, but wasn't sure it would matter if any parent heard what they were talking about.   
“Tell Max I said thanks,” Steve said. He shouldn't, but he couldn't help himself.   
“Don't put this on her,” Dustin said angrily.  
“I'm not. I was just hoping we could have had a week to prepare, instead of less than twelve hours.”  
“Friends don't lie, and you know it,” Dustin lectured.  
“I do,” Steve said with a small sigh. “Just make sure Billy doesn't find out before I can get to him. His life is literally at stake here, so he's not exactly going to take it well.”   
“What do you mean _literally_ at stake?” Dustin asked.   
“I mean his dad will _literally_ kill him if he finds out,” Steve said, repeating Dustin's way of saying the word, “and that's not even an exaggeration. Just ask Max. This is why you can't tell anyone outside the group, Dustin. No adults. No matter what you think about me or Billy, you can't tell anyone.”  
“You think you deserve us not telling anyone?” Mike said loudly in the background.   
Great, they were all listening in. He wondered how they'd rigged that up.   
“You lied to us, Steve,” Dustin said, and Steve could hear hurt in his voice. “How long has this been going on?”  
“A couple of months,” Steve said calmly, choosing to not count the first couple of hookups. He told himself it wasn't really a lie.   
“You've been lying to us for months?” Dustin shouted incredulously.   
“It's not like it's come up,” Steve gave as an excuse. A poor one.   
“That's beside the point,” Dustin argued, and Steve silently agreed. 

They had yet to outright say what they were talking about. Steve wasn't sure he'd be able to do it. He could already hear the outrage in their voices. Saying it out loud might make it worse.   
“Look,” Steve said, “I don't tell you everything about my life. Okay? It's called privacy.”  
“Privacy? That you're screwing Max's brother?” Lucas near shouted.   
Steve's stomach churned at both the noise level, and the words spoken. He heard the “step brother” correction in the background.   
“Hey, you don't have any basis for that conclusion,” Steve protested, also loudly. “She saw us kissing, and that's it.”   
“So you admit to kissing him,” Dustin said.   
“Of course I do,” Steve said. “It happened. Okay, look, let's just have this out in the open, now that it's come up. Billy is my boyfriend. He's been my boyfriend for about a month.”  
“And you're trying to make us believe you're _not_ screwing him?” Mike asked, in that tone of voice he had, that made people want to hurt him.   
“That's none of your business,” Steve said, getting angry. “What I do when I hang out with Billy is none of your business. We need to be clear on that. I'm sorry you all found out like this, but I'm not sorry I didn't tell you before, because who I date is my own business, unless I choose to tell.”  
“Why did you choose not to tell?” Dustin asked.   
“Have a look at how you're all reacting, and take a wild guess,” Steve said with some degree of venom. 

The line went silent for a moment, but it didn't last.   
“Since when are you a homo?” Mike asked, closer to the mouth piece now. “What about Nancy?”  
“What about her?” Steve asked, while having an idea of what came next.   
“Was that all fake, and a lie too?” Mike went on.   
“No. Dating Nancy was totally real. She was the one who dumped me. Not the other way around.”  
“You turned homo from having your heart broken or something?” Lucas asked.   
“That's not how it works,” Steve said, trying for patience, but failing. “Does Nancy know?”  
“What do you care?” Mike asked. “Maybe she dumped you because she could tell you're a homo.”  
“I care, okay? Nancy's my friend.”  
“Not after she hears about this she's not,” Mike said, with something sounding like triumph in his voice. 

Steve bit back an angry outburst at how much of a little shit Mike was being.   
“Wait,” Mike said. “You're a homo. Does that mean...” he trailed off.  
“What?” Steve asked, even though he didn't want to hear where Mike was going.  
“Does it mean you've wanted to, you know, with us?” Mike continued. “I mean, we're guys.”  
“What? Fuck no,” Steve said, now more outraged than the kids had been at the start of the conversation. “Jesus Christ, what the fuck is wrong with you?”   
“Hey, are you saying we're not attractive?” Dustin said absurdly.   
“I'm saying you're kids.”  
“Don't homos go for kids?” Lucas asked.  
“Two words, Sinclair. Fuck. You,” Steve burst out angrily. He was full on pissed off now. “Jesus fucking Christ, just because I fucking fell in love with Billy Hargrove, who's the most macho fucking guy I've ever met, you're all suddenly thinking I'd got for a bunch of nerdy kids? What the fuck?”  
Silence came from the other end, and Steve immediately started trying to decide how much he needed to apologize for his outburst. He just got so fucking angry when he heard anti-gay bullshit coming out of their mouths. When he thought about it, he felt like he didn't have anything to apologize for at all. That fucking anti-gay propaganda needed to be shut the fuck down as fast as it came up. 

“What do you mean, in love?” Dustin asked after a moment.   
Fuck. Steve hadn't even realized he'd said that until now. He went from angry to calm in less than a second from the surprise of it.  
“I mean exactly that,” Steve said. “I'm in love with Billy Hargrove. I don't know when it happened, or how, or even why really, but it happened. And now he's my boyfriend, and I think maybe he's in love with me too.”  
“Is gay being in love like regular being in love?” Will asked, so quietly that Steve almost didn't hear what he said.   
“Having tried both, yes, it is,” Steve said. It was interesting how thinking Billy might be in love with him had calmed him all the way down, and made him feel almost good, even in this mess of a conversation. Almost.   
“Well, I think one of them is fake,” Mike said.   
“I can't do anything about that,” Steve replied. “I'd tell you to take my word for it, but I don't think my word is very good with you guys right now.”  
“Damn right, it's not,” Lucas said.  
“I'm so disappointed in you, Steve,” Dustin said. “You have no idea.”  
“I have some idea,” Steve replied, feeling deep disappointment in the people on the other side of the phone line. 

Billy had been right all along. Steve had just been stupid, and had wanted to think his friends were better than that. Instead he got homophobic shit they probably learned from their parents. Parents who would call Steve's parents if they found out, and possibly claim he'd done exactly what Lucas had suggested he might want to do to them. Some parents, though probably not any of these kids’, except Neil, might decide to take matters in their own hands. They might come and find both Steve and Billy. To have a “conversation” that probably wouldn’t contain words. He understood Billy's anger, fear, and frustration, but he'd somehow stupidly deluded himself into thinking it wouldn't be that bad. That the people he knew weren't really like that. It sucked being wrong. But as upset as he was right now, he couldn't really hold it against the kids. They learned from the adults in their lives, and were only just now reaching the age where they started truly thinking for themselves. They might come around eventually, but it was too much to ask for to have them come around now. For now he was just going to have to live with having fewer friends. Even ending things with Billy wouldn't change anything now, and frankly, Steve wouldn't want to even if it would. Right now, what he wanted more than anything was to talk to Billy. Steve felt instantly guilty at the thoughts implying he would rather be Billy's boyfriend than the kids' friend. But that wasn't how it was. He very much wanted to be the kids' friend. It was just that right now, they didn't feel the same way. There was nothing he could do about that, other than give them time. 

Steve took a steeling breath, and filled the silence that had erupted in the call.   
“You guys need to talk this over, and think this over.”  
“No, _you_ need to do that,” said Mike.   
“I am what I am, and I am dating who I am dating,” Steve said, refusing to give into any perceived pressure. “You guys need to decide if you can live with that, or if you want to not be my friend anymore.”  
“I didn't say anything about not being friends,” Dustin said hurriedly, and it made Steve feel more hopeful when he heard it. “I just don't understand what's going through your head right now.”   
“I'm not sure I understand either,” Steve said. “But things are what they are.”  
“You could dump him,” Lucas said.   
“Yeah, but I don't want to do that,” Steve admitted.   
“Why not?” asked Mike. 

Steve's thoughts went to the urge he'd had outside Billy's window the night before. To say those words out loud.   
“Because I don't,” he repeated, and went all in. “I like having a boyfriend, okay? I like having _Billy_ as my boyfriend.”  
“But he's an asshole,” Max said, speaking for the first time during the conversation.   
“Yes. I know,” Steve agreed. “He's a fucking dickhead, but that doesn't change anything.”  
“It _should_ change something,” Mike said.  
“Maybe, but maybe I'm just stupid that way. I'm not going to dump him.”  
“Not even for us?” Dustin asked, and Steve almost hated him for it. He didn't want to make that choice.   
“You guys are awesome, and babysitting you is fun, and kind of insane, and you guys are great friends, but I have to live my life, okay? I can't live my life based only on what you guys need. I need to live based on what I need too.”  
“And you need _Billy_?” Lucas asked incredulously.   
“Apparently I do. Trust me, it surprised me too.”  
“Steve, you're fucking weird,” Dustin said.  
“Yeah, I know,” Steve said. It was as good a place as any to end the call. “I have to go. You guys think about what you can live with, and talk to each other, and just let me know how it ends up. Or don't, if that's what you want. I don't know. Just, don't tell anyone else. Please. I am begging you. No matter what else you decide, please don't tell anyone.”  
“I won't tell anyone,” Dustin said.  
“I can't promise that,” Mike said. 

Discussion erupted on the other end, before Dustin talked again.   
“We won't tell anyone. Okay? I totally don't agree with what you're doing, and have no idea what you're thinking, and I'm wondering where the hell I went wrong, but we won't tell anyone. Ever. I promise.”  
“Thank you,” Steve said. Relief flooded through him, so strong it almost brought him on the verge of tears. “Thank you. I... bye guys.”  
“Bye, Steve,” Dustin said, and several others joined in with the same words.   
They hung up, and Steve spent a long time just holding the receiver, looking at nothing. His mind was exploding with thoughts, only a few of which were good. He needed to talk to Billy, and tell him about the conversation, and hear what he thought of it all. He needed his fucking boyfriend. 

Steve called Billy's house, hoping he was in. Susan picked up, and Steve made up some excuse about needing Billy to help with some school work.   
“What's up, Harrington. What can I do for you?” Billy asked as soon as he picked up. He sounded cheerful, and Steve felt a little bad about the fact he was about to ruin his day.   
“How bad is it that I want to get drunk this early?” Steve asked without context.   
“That little fucking...” Billy said, making the connection.  
“Billy, don't do anything stupid. Just meet me at the spot, okay? Seriously, dude. I need to see you.”  
“That bad, huh?” Billy said, sounding surprisingly calm now. Maybe he could hear how shitty Steve felt right now. He was perceptive that way.  
“Let's just say they didn't take it as well as I'd hoped.”  
“I told you.”  
“I know, and clearly you were right. I don't want to hear it.”  
“I'm sorry I was right, dude. I really am,” Billy said softly, and sounded like he meant it. “Look, I can't come right away, I have to help my dad with something, but I'll be there as soon as I can. Okay? A couple of hours.”  
“Okay. Thanks,” Steve said. He felt better, even though he would have to wait. He knew Billy couldn't just walk away from having to help his dad. His dad would lose it. “And Billy?”  
“I won't do anything stupid,” Billy said in a way that made is sound like he was smiling. “I promise.”  
The way Billy had calmed down when he'd heard Steve being upset, and the way he promised now to not do anything to Max, in a way that made Steve believe him completely, was a little overwhelming. He hadn't had to nag or threaten. Billy knew what Steve needed, and gave it. Fuck.   
“I...” Steve started, nearly thought better of it, but plowed on anyway. “I wasn't going to say this, but I'm going to anyway, because right now I really feel it.”  
“What?”  
“I love you,” Steve said, and hung up before Billy could reply. 

With his nerves tingling, from what he'd just said rather than the conversation he'd had with the kids, Steve went to the kitchen and had too much coffee, as if he needed the caffeine right now. Then he sneaked to where his dad kept his stash of fancy beer, stole six bottles, and went to the car to go to his and Billy's spot to wait. He didn't know if hope or fear was going to end this internal struggle, but all he could do was keep going, and try to not let the latter win. Maybe Billy could help him with that. Billy was good at removing fear, just by being there, and by being his boyfriend.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for being so late posting this. Things have been a little crazy. Hopefully the next (and final) part will be posted quicker, but I can't promise that. Sorry. But, I _can_ promise I won't abandon the series. It will be finished.


End file.
